One, two If you ever hear a noise in the night Your body starts to sweat It shakes and shivers in fright You go and sleep with your mother She hates your guts She knows that you love her So she holds you tight
All through the night in to the broad daylight And when she doesn't come home You'll have to sleep alone Then you wet your bed and I think that's sad For a girl of 19 it's more than sad, it's obscene
One, two And your girlfriend, sweet little 17 She's got her layered hair and her flared jeans You know what that means, she's just a little queen She shares your London flat
She thinks that London's where it's at Although it stinks and when it rains you wear your hat And your plum colored PVC wet-look maxi mac You tie your ginger hair back in a bun You're the ugliest creature, under the sun
One, two (go!)
One, two And you think it's about time that you died, and I agree So you decide on suicide You tried, but you never quite carried it out You only wanted to die in order to show off And if you think you're gonna bleed all over me You're even wronger than you'd normally be
And the only things you want to see are kitsch And the only thing you want to be is rich Your little pink up-pointed nose begins to twitch I know you, you know, you're just a little bitch
